In case you didn't know...Now you know.

I took a class in humanities back in high school with an eccentric teacher named Mr. Rossel.

Mr. Rossel talked a lot about the Bible, morality, The Prisoner, and Pythagoras. Pythagoras is an old Greek mathematician/theologian/philosopher known to high school sophomores everywhere as the man responsible for A² + B² equalling C². Anyway, what most people don't know about Pythagoras is that he led a religious cult based upon the belief that there is a mathematical order to the universe (ala Max Cohen in the movie π).

Mr. Rossel informed us that Pythagoras and his entourage held certain specific beliefs about life and natural order. First, that there is a Hindu-style order to life. If you're good in this life, you'll come back as a man. If not, as a woman. And if you manage to screw that up...a bean plant. He didn't explain the logic. Second, that there is a pattern behind every numerical sequence. So, for example, when someone out there discovered π, the die-hard Pythagorean would analyze the number into perpetuity looking for some rational pattern behind it (again, see the movie π).

Mr. Rossel told us two stories related to these beliefs. According to Rossel, one day a follower of Pythagoras attempted to find the length of the hypotenuse of a right triangle with two legs each one unit long. The answer would be the square root of 2. The guy sat up for days trying to turn the square root of 2 into a rational number. Puzzled, he took the problem to Pythagoras. Pythagoras, in turn, had his henchmen take the guy off into the ocean and drown him so that no one else would discover the error in his theory.

The other story had to do with Pythagoras' demise. Apparently one day, the masses discovered just how uncooperative numbers like the square root of 2 could be and sought his head. He was pursued out of town and might have escaped, but for the fact that he was ultimately trapped between a raging mob and a field full of bean plants. Afraid that he might step on his grandmother, Pythagoras succumbed to the mob.

Yesterday Pythagoras came up in the midst of normal (well, "normal") lunchtime conversation and I became curious as to whether the above stories are true. The answer: sort of.

The popular myth regarding Pythagoras' death is that he was pursued into a bean field by soldiers supporting Cylon, a disgruntled disciple who attempted a coup in Athens. He did sacrifice himself because he didn't want to trample the beans, but I cannot find any reference to fears that his grandmother was supposedly demoted to a bean. As a matter of fact, the whole hierarchy of man-woman-bean seems a bit specious since he endeavored to treat women equally in his big fun-loving cult. His wife even wrote a treatise on the golden ratio and continued his work after his death.

Though grandma does fit into the story. According to William Skakespeare, Pythagoras once used the example of his grandmother to explain his vegetarianism. From Twelfth Night:

Feste paced before the guardhouse door and stroked his beard. 'What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild birds?'

'That the soul of one's grandmother might possibly inhabit the body of a bird.'

Feste grunted. 'What do you think of his opinion?'

'I think nobly of the soul and in no way agree with his opinion.'

So I guess it's possible that he would avoid a bean field because of his grandma. He purportedly believed that humans become beans after death because of their resemblance to an embryo, or so I understand. Given some of his other beliefs, it certainly seems like something he would do.

As for the other Rossel anecdote, that one is almost entirely true. A student of Pythagoras named Hippasus made the discovery on a ship at sea. His followers were so upset at the idea of an irrational number (since it undermined everything they believed about the universe) that they threw him overboard. Accounts differ as to whether or not Pythagoras was actually involved.

So, Mr. Rossel, I give you a 3.5 on this one. What's that out of? Eh. Might be five. Might be ten.



It really is too bad no one from my humanities class reads this thing. Anyway, that's my contribution for the day. Happy Thanksgiving.