Weakening the blow of the hurricane
Wow. Hurricanes suck.
Why are all of these hurricanes kicking our asses all of a sudden? I'm no meteorologist, but I think it has something to do with the names we're giving them. From what I understand, they used to name all hurricanes after women...angry, ferocious women. No doubt some hoity toity meteorologist was married to a Camille back in 1969. Eventually (I don't know when), they changed the system to a six year cycle and started alternating male and female names.
Anyway, there is a point to all of this. For whatever reason, we've chosen to personify hurricanes. We don't do this for other natural disasters. We don't name tornadoes, earthquakes, mudslides, forest fires, or floods. There's just something about sustained winds of 140+ miles per hour that reminds us of other people we happen to know.
I tend to wonder if these storms take on personalites embodied in the names that they are given. For example, there have been two storms named "Bret" since 1993. Both were tropical storms. While the 1993 Bret gave Mexico a bit of trouble, it's been a relatively mild-mannered storm that, at the very worst, might pour some cold water on your spring break plans. Katrina, on the other hand, reminds me of the sophomore who shows up at a party, gets drunk off of three beers and suddenly becomes very belligerent. Before you know it, she's in a cat fight with some coed over a wine cooler.
My theory: if we just give hurricanes the sissiest names possible, then we'll have nothing to worry about. Here's my proposed list for 2006:
Adlai
Bunny
Chadwick
Destiny
Eggbert
Fluffy
Gramps
Honey
Iggy
Jasmine
Koko (amended: Kip Peterson disproves)
Lilly
Melvin
Nancy
Oral
Pippy
Q: If the National Weather Service can skip Q,U,X,Y and Z then so can I.
Rudy
Sally
Teddy
Vanna
Whitley
Additions are, of course, welcome.
Why are all of these hurricanes kicking our asses all of a sudden? I'm no meteorologist, but I think it has something to do with the names we're giving them. From what I understand, they used to name all hurricanes after women...angry, ferocious women. No doubt some hoity toity meteorologist was married to a Camille back in 1969. Eventually (I don't know when), they changed the system to a six year cycle and started alternating male and female names.
Anyway, there is a point to all of this. For whatever reason, we've chosen to personify hurricanes. We don't do this for other natural disasters. We don't name tornadoes, earthquakes, mudslides, forest fires, or floods. There's just something about sustained winds of 140+ miles per hour that reminds us of other people we happen to know.
I tend to wonder if these storms take on personalites embodied in the names that they are given. For example, there have been two storms named "Bret" since 1993. Both were tropical storms. While the 1993 Bret gave Mexico a bit of trouble, it's been a relatively mild-mannered storm that, at the very worst, might pour some cold water on your spring break plans. Katrina, on the other hand, reminds me of the sophomore who shows up at a party, gets drunk off of three beers and suddenly becomes very belligerent. Before you know it, she's in a cat fight with some coed over a wine cooler.
My theory: if we just give hurricanes the sissiest names possible, then we'll have nothing to worry about. Here's my proposed list for 2006:
Adlai
Bunny
Chadwick
Destiny
Eggbert
Fluffy
Gramps
Honey
Iggy
Jasmine
Koko (amended: Kip Peterson disproves)
Lilly
Melvin
Nancy
Oral
Pippy
Q: If the National Weather Service can skip Q,U,X,Y and Z then so can I.
Rudy
Sally
Teddy
Vanna
Whitley
Additions are, of course, welcome.
posted by Your Friendly Neighborhood Clark Bar at 8/30/2005 04:22:00 PM
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6 Comments:
I don't know about you Clark, but Kip Peterson is about the furthest thing from sissy I know
I'm just glad that 'abra' is never going to pop up as the name of a hurricane.
But my prof has a theory that eventually the politcal correctness police will hit NOAA with a lawsuit about using such anglican names for their hurricanes. Could happen. We might be ravaged by hurricane Darnell, Shaquana, Alejandro, etc. And I welcome the change, why should we take all the blame?
Dammit, you're right. I hadn't thought about Kip. SNL character was the first thing that came to mind. I might have to find another K name.
Skipping Q = big mistake. Q should definitely be Queer Eye of the Straight Hurricane. I'm just saying.
"Wow. Hurricanes suck."
And the profound statement of the year award goes to...
How about Hurricane Brett? That's pretty sissy! (just kidding Clarkie, you are a manly man... hahaha)
Hurricane Alex, that is a fearsome name.
How about Hurricane Dubya?
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