"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"

What a disturbing song for young kids. First of all, the image of one's mom making out with some old hairy guy who bursts through the chimney in the middle of the night, despite the obvious presence of children in the house and, likely, a husband upstairs. But even more disturbing is the idea that Santa is really only coming on the night of Christmas Eve and giving you presents in order to gain favor with younger married women. And Mrs. Claus? Thinking for all these years that her saintly husband is the most charitable man in the world, when in reality his charity is only pretext for some intercontinental makeout? It's depressing.

When you hear this on the radio for the first time as a kid, how can you not wonder what the hell is up with Santa? But if you happen to ask a parent, you're in for even more of a shock--because that's when your parents are most likely to figure that it's time to gently clue you into the true nature of Santa Claus. And if Santa's moral flexibility is depressing, it's nothing like finding out that the man doesn't exist in the first place...And that your parents have been misleading you for your entire life.

So much damage caused by one little song.