Loathing Atlanta
This season marks the 14th consecutive time that the Atlanta Braves have won their division title. It's an admirable feat, no doubt, but everyone is treating them as if they're some great baseball dynasty. It's all total crap. Two reasons:
No. 1: The Braves are perennial choke artists. Sure, they can win the NL East, typically a competitive division, but then they crap out the second they reach the playoffs. This team has only won one frickin' World Series! One for 14?! And it took them something like five attempts to do it! The Braves win 14 straight division titles but still have fewer chippers than the Florida Marlins?! Some greats....Reserve the dynasty talk for the Yankees. Heck, even the Blue Jays have more claim to a dynasty after putting away the Braves and Phillies in '92 and '93. Let's recognize the Braves for what they really are: the Buffalo Bills of baseball.
No. 2: The Braves straight-up robbed LA of the NL West title in 1991. That's right. I said it. This whole faux dynasty is the wrongful conversion of glory that should have gone to the Los Angeles Dodgers. I've been holding this grudge since I was 11 years old (my second longest baseball grudge--story to come). For those who don't remember, in September 1991, LA and Atlanta were locked in a vicious struggle for control of the division. This of course was back before they split into three divisions and moved Atlanta into the East (Dirty Braves had no business being in the West). There I was in the fifth grade, ready for the return to our 1988 glory watching as LA held onto the division. Late in the season, however, LA ended up losing a game to San Diego on a botched call--2nd baseman dropped the ball, but the second base ump said he had control of it. When all was said and done at the end of the regular season, both teams had won over 100 games for the season but Atlanta ended up winning the division by one game. One single frickin' game. Had it not been for that single crap call by that single crap ump against that crap Padres team, the division would have resulted in a tie. LA and Atlanta would have had to hold a one-game playoff. Considering that LA laid the wood to Atlanta just about everytime they played that season, chances are they'd have won the game and the division.
But it was all for naught. Atlanta began its 14 year run and LA fell into the cellar. This streak should belong to the Dodgers. We were cold robbed. Perhaps this is how God punishes ball clubs who take others' fortunes--by choking them to death. I still plot though...waiting for Ted Turner and his Braves to fall back into oblivion where they belong. Meanwhile, Braves fans will celebrate with their ill-gotten wares. Their day is coming. And I'll be there.
No. 1: The Braves are perennial choke artists. Sure, they can win the NL East, typically a competitive division, but then they crap out the second they reach the playoffs. This team has only won one frickin' World Series! One for 14?! And it took them something like five attempts to do it! The Braves win 14 straight division titles but still have fewer chippers than the Florida Marlins?! Some greats....Reserve the dynasty talk for the Yankees. Heck, even the Blue Jays have more claim to a dynasty after putting away the Braves and Phillies in '92 and '93. Let's recognize the Braves for what they really are: the Buffalo Bills of baseball.
No. 2: The Braves straight-up robbed LA of the NL West title in 1991. That's right. I said it. This whole faux dynasty is the wrongful conversion of glory that should have gone to the Los Angeles Dodgers. I've been holding this grudge since I was 11 years old (my second longest baseball grudge--story to come). For those who don't remember, in September 1991, LA and Atlanta were locked in a vicious struggle for control of the division. This of course was back before they split into three divisions and moved Atlanta into the East (Dirty Braves had no business being in the West). There I was in the fifth grade, ready for the return to our 1988 glory watching as LA held onto the division. Late in the season, however, LA ended up losing a game to San Diego on a botched call--2nd baseman dropped the ball, but the second base ump said he had control of it. When all was said and done at the end of the regular season, both teams had won over 100 games for the season but Atlanta ended up winning the division by one game. One single frickin' game. Had it not been for that single crap call by that single crap ump against that crap Padres team, the division would have resulted in a tie. LA and Atlanta would have had to hold a one-game playoff. Considering that LA laid the wood to Atlanta just about everytime they played that season, chances are they'd have won the game and the division.
But it was all for naught. Atlanta began its 14 year run and LA fell into the cellar. This streak should belong to the Dodgers. We were cold robbed. Perhaps this is how God punishes ball clubs who take others' fortunes--by choking them to death. I still plot though...waiting for Ted Turner and his Braves to fall back into oblivion where they belong. Meanwhile, Braves fans will celebrate with their ill-gotten wares. Their day is coming. And I'll be there.
posted by Your Friendly Neighborhood Clark Bar at 9/29/2005 01:29:00 PM
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11 Comments:
Hey, if that's what it takes. Pretty sure I'll outlive Bobby Cox.
btw, what's with the anonymous crap?
and can remove chipper jones from the equation, if only because being named "chipper" should be a federal crime. i can't even watch them play cause his name is like nails on a chalkboard.
but for once, and only once, you and i are in 100% agreement. the braves should be taken out and flogged, or sent to compete in Japan for the rest of Cox's miserable life.
Clark, it's become apparent that between your odd love of commenting on uniforms and your recanting of a single game from a decade ago that you are two things:
1. A baseball fan
2. Criminally insane
Also note that being a baseball fan can be considered being criminally insane.
So much of my life has been shaped by a one game margin in 1991 and a bad case of hemmorhoids in 1980 (not mine, mind you...George Brett's).
All Braves fans should remain anonymous and irrelevant.
I empathize with being plagued by a past sporting event. While not old enough to agonize over Bobby Thompson (I was 3), I still can't forgive the Dodgers for abandonning Brooklyn. But I don't think we're on the same side of that one.
Naw, you have a good point there. They lost some of their historical glitz when they moved from Brooklyn to LA. And normally it bothers me when a team moves someplace else and yet keeps its previous localized name, which is why I can never be a Laker fan. I grew up a fan of the Dodgers because they had their farm team in my hometown when I was growing up, so I spent my days watching Jose Offerman, Eric Karros, the like before they ever made it to the pros.
I still rooted for them as long as they had Sandy Koufax, and still followed them as long as they had Tommy Lasorda, who is one of those people only baseball seems to attract, like Don Zimmer, Marv Throneberry, Casey Stengel and Yogi Berra. (Don't tell me basketball had Dennis Rodman. I like to follow odd people, not totally bizarre.) Back on point, I don't find the current Dodgers interesting.
Padres!
And no, please don't mention today.
Nice to see you, Mr. Clark.
Hey Don! Long time no see, huh? Yeah, Pawds gave it to us this year, though no one in the West was all that impressive. Can't very well give you crap about the game though...Heck, your team actually made .500.
First, I think it is more of an achievement to win the division more times in a row than any team in pro sports history than to win the World Series twice in a decade. Beating some really good teams every year is much more difficult. Second, why hate on the Braves because of some call an ump made in game the braves weren't in? That's silly.
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