Ned Colletti on the Torre deal.

ESPN is reporting that the Dodgers are finally talking about Torre openly:

Los Angeles Dodgers general manager Ned Colletti sidestepped the Joe Torre question Tuesday, but on Wednesday he admitted to ESPN.com's Jayson Stark that there is "mutual interest" between the team and the former Yankees manager.

Okay. I like that part so far.

Colletti told Stark that the Dodgers and Torre are "in the early stages of getting to know each other."

And why shouldn't they be?

"I've watched stuff in the last 72 hours that I can't believe I'm watching," Colletti said.

Ouch. That part isn't good. I like what I've been hearing in the last 72 hours. I want more of it, in fact.

"I can tell you we do not have an agreement. I've seen more inaccuracy than I can ever remember."

More inaccuracy than you can ever remember? Don't play coy with me, Ned. By "inaccuracy," do you mean kinda like "Grady Little is our manager for 2008"? That kind of inaccuracy?

"I'm not going to get into where the negotiations are," Colletti said. "It's still early in the process in some ways." When asked if the parties were close, Colletti replied: "I don't categorize anything as close, far. It's either done or it's not done."

Translation: They're pretty close.

Get it done, Ned.

From the Los Angeles Times about half an hour ago:

Sources said that the Dodgers and the former Yankees manager have agreed to the terms of his contract, and what remains to be done is to agree on issues about the coaching staff and his input on player personnel moves. Torre wants to choose his own coaches, among them Don Mattingly, and is negotiating the amount of money to be spent on them. The deal could be completed in the next day.

Torre AND Mattingly appear to be for real.

Yesterday's speculation that Joe Torre would be coming to LA has turned into a report confirmed by two MLB officials speaking on condition of anonymity by the Westchester Journal News. Word on the street is that Don Mattingly, who was less than pleased to be passed over by the Yankees, is coming with. Mattingly's son was drafted by the Dodgers in 2006.

If true, this would be huge. Think of it--a native Brooklynite leaving New York to bring Dodger Blue back to glory. You can't write a better story. Besides, not only is the guy brilliant, he's exactly what the Dodgers need at this point: someone to quell the discord between the veterans and the youth on the Dodger roster.

Now this is still all off the record, but it has started a firestorm of press. Besides, the substantial evidence out there that the Dodgers gave Joe Girardi a firm offer before he signed with the Yankees tells me that McCourt is not in fact going to stick with Grady Little. If not Girardi, then Torre certainly makes the most sense.

Torre to take helm in LA?

Please, Lord. I need this. New York Post:

October 29, 2007 -- If divorce proceedings between Grady Little and the Dodgers go the distance, as many expect, The Post has learned Joe Torre has been targeted as the manager to heal a fractured Los Angeles clubhouse.

According to two people with knowledge of the Dodgers' universe, the club and Little are talking about a buyout that would leave the manager's office in Chavez Ravine vacant for Torre to inherit.

Torre, who wants to manage again, is interested in talking to the Dodgers if the job becomes available.

Ask and you shall receive.

So I make a brief complaint about how current stapler technology is on par with the carrier pigeon and a few days later a box shows up for me at work. Looks kinda like a pipe bomb, so I give it a good shake first. After the all clear, I opened it up.

Inside: A staple-free stapler.

The invoice inside indicated it was sent by a certain staffer at the Hague, so I assume this is the kind of weird contraption that they use to attach papers together in Europe.

Upside: No staples. Thus, you never have the problem of a staple snapping at bending point or crunching up part way through the stack of papers. You never have to yank an errant staple out with a staple puller or pull a broken piece of one out with your teeth.

Downside: The staple-free stapler only punchs a thin piece of the paper out, which you then fold back to hold the paper together. Consequently, it can't really hold them together. That, and you can only do four pages at a time.

Nonetheless, this thing is a pretty nifty gadget that now sits atop my computer tower, looking down on my American stapler. Thanks, Marie. ;o)

Another unintentionally humorous ad from the Drudge Report:

FREE JACK BAUER

Kiefer Sutherland gets 48 days in jail for DUI while on probation. Why 48 days?

"Kiefer made clear to us at the time of his arrest that his first concern was the welfare of those he worked with and that he intended to do whatever was necessary to prevent shutting down the show," it said in a statement.

"He told us that even if he had to sacrifice more time in custody in order to protect the show and the jobs of those who work with him, he would do so.

"From what occurred today, it is evident he is a man of his word."

Somewhere a witty headline writer is quietly waiting for the day when Tony Romo breaks his ribs.

Son of a bitch.......We really should have more advanced stapler technology at this point.

It was fifty years ago today that Walter O'Malley and the Brooklyn Dodgers announced that they would leave Ebbets Field and move across the country to Los Angeles. The Los Angeles Times recalls the blackest day in Brooklyn history.

It's not unusual to read about the occasional lawsuit being filed against God. It is unusual for God to respond:

A response to a legislator’s lawsuit from “God” asserts the court lacks jurisdiction to hear a Nebraska legislator’s lawsuit against him.

John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha, told the Associated Press the response was one of two filed on God’s behalf. State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha sued God earlier this week to make the point that anyone can file a frivolous lawsuit.

"This one miraculously appeared on the counter,” Friend said. “It just all of a sudden was here—poof!"

The suit also argues that God is immune from earthly laws, he has not been served with the suit, and he should not be blamed for human suffering.

"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," it read.

No contact information was on the filing, although it lists St. Michael the Archangel as a witness. Several local lawyers denied that they wrote the response, but they told Omaha’s Action 3 News they are available if God needs them.

Naturally, this whole situation warrants a few questions and observations:

1. Does God appear for such matters pro se?
2. Did He pay a motion fee, or does God get to proceed in forma pauperis?
3. Apparently God doesn't capitalize pronouns when referring to Himself. Definite sign of modesty.
4. Counsel for "God." How does one land that gig?
5. How do you serve God...with process? Would the local Catholic diocese constitute an in-state registered agent for purposes of service? I can imagine some testy Protestants having a problem with that, but come on...They're more like franchise operations. Just ask Benedict.
6. The article notes that God's second response listed a telephone number from a Corpus Christi, TX, law office. How freaky is that little fact? (1) If God is a Texan, then I am likely going to Hell. (2) If God is a lawyer, then I think we all are.