Some severe blog neglect here. Things have been incredibly busy lately. Some things that require comment:

The Dodgers have resisted the urge to sell off their future for Miguel Cabrera or anyone else on the trading block. Last week, they signed outfielder Andruw Jones from the Braves. As Mr. T-Mac pointed out in my absence, Jones didn't do too hot last year, batting a career worst .220 or so. Other than that, he's been a pretty consistent player though. I feel fairly confident that he'll bounce back. He better after getting a two-year $36 million contract. Either way, that leaves four men in the outfield. Juan Pierre, Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp are left in limbo. Pierre can at the very least be moved over to account for his weak arm. I hope that they either bench him or cut him since he can't hit (Pierre leads the league in bunts). Barring that, either Kemp or Ethier end up on the bench. If it comes to that, then there's the substantial possibility of a trade between LA and Minnesota for Santana. After the departure of Torii Hunter, Minnesota needs a young outfielder to replace him. Matt Kemp could fill that role. Of course, the Twins would demand other players as well--a Broxton, Billingsley, or Kershaw as well as perhaps a James Loney, but that remains to be seen.

Michael Vick in jail. This has all the makings of a real life version of The Longest Yard. I hope that the prison guards have some sort of prison league football team.

Saw some roller derby this weekend. That was pretty cool. Those Minnesota Rollergirls can brawl.

Led Zeppelin is finally on iTunes.

The George Mitchell Report on steroid use finally came out. Some intriguing names are in there that I might not otherwise have expected, like Eric Gagne and others. Intriguingly, the report recommends that Juan Pierre start using steroids. Not sure how they got away with that.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is one of the funniest shows in a long time. Season 3 is over, but Seasons 1 and 2 are on DVD in a package set. Worthwhile purchase.

This writers' strike is killing me. I can't stand many reality TV shows, except the ones that are making fun of reality TV like The Littlest Bachelor, the one making fun of The Apprentice, and My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance. Those are comedy gold.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'll make sure to keep up from now on.

AAA-Rod?

Hank Steinbrenner on Alex Rodriguez: "Does he want to go into the Hall of Fame as a Yankee, or a Toledo Mud Hen?"

The Toledo Mud Hens to Alex Rodriguez: "Go into the Hall of Fame as a Toledo Mud Hen."

SI.com:

A letter sent on Thursday to Rodriguez's agent, Scott Boras, offered a deal with a bonus if A-Rod leads the team to 10 consecutive International League titles.

But the offer stipulates that Rodriguez will have to compete for a spot with Toledo third basemen Mike Hessman, the league's most valuable player last season.

"Would your client be willing to play a different position?" the letter asked.

Ask and you shall receive.

So I make a brief complaint about how current stapler technology is on par with the carrier pigeon and a few days later a box shows up for me at work. Looks kinda like a pipe bomb, so I give it a good shake first. After the all clear, I opened it up.

Inside: A staple-free stapler.

The invoice inside indicated it was sent by a certain staffer at the Hague, so I assume this is the kind of weird contraption that they use to attach papers together in Europe.

Upside: No staples. Thus, you never have the problem of a staple snapping at bending point or crunching up part way through the stack of papers. You never have to yank an errant staple out with a staple puller or pull a broken piece of one out with your teeth.

Downside: The staple-free stapler only punchs a thin piece of the paper out, which you then fold back to hold the paper together. Consequently, it can't really hold them together. That, and you can only do four pages at a time.

Nonetheless, this thing is a pretty nifty gadget that now sits atop my computer tower, looking down on my American stapler. Thanks, Marie. ;o)

Another unintentionally humorous ad from the Drudge Report:

Somewhere a witty headline writer is quietly waiting for the day when Tony Romo breaks his ribs.

Son of a bitch.......We really should have more advanced stapler technology at this point.

In other news, I've been informed that the Chinese government is blocking access to this blog.

I'm flattered.

Marc Ecko, the fashion designer who bought Barry Bonds' 756th home run ball, is putting on a public vote to determine the ball's fate. From SI.com:

Ecko, 35, has set up a Web site that lets visitors vote on three options for the ball: give it to the National Baseball Hall of Fame, brand it with an asterisk before sending it to Cooperstown or blast it into space on a rocket ship.

...

Bonds said Ecko could have found a better way to spend three-quarters of a million dollars.

"He's stupid. He's an idiot," Bonds said. "He spent $750,000 on the ball and that's what he's doing with it? What he's doing is stupid."

Ecko did not directly respond to Bonds' comments Wednesday, but said in a statement he would make Bonds a custom T-shirt that says, "Marc Ecko paid $752,467 for my ball, and all I got was this 'stupid' T-shirt."'

See, this is why I love rich people. I'm actually a bit torn as to what I want done with the ball. The most appealing option at the outset is to blast the sucker into space. But then again, maybe we should save Bonds' shame for posterity by branding it with an asterisk and sending it to Cooperstown. You can vote at Vote756.com...Or you can do it right here. Of course, I'm leaving that first option off the table...

You ever see a headline and imagine something completely different?

'Dole recalls bagged salads due to E. coli'

The new hot tourist destination in the Twin Cities? Larry Craig's restroom stall, says the BBC.

Wow.

When Jose Offerman Attacks

Former Great Falls Dodger great Jose Offerman went ape the other night. Offerman played for the LA Dodgers for a number of years before becoming a journeyman player, now a part of the independent Atlantic League.

After being hit with a fastball, Offerman charged the mound with his bat. He struck both the pitcher and the catcher, who tried to break up the fracas, in the head. He's been suspended indefinitely and is facing assault charges.

This may be a career killer (see sarcasm dripping). Too bad, really. He was my favorite Great Falls Dodger back when I was eight years old.

Kim Jong Il shows off sweet new shades, jammies.

Few things are funnier than BBC articles trying to explain what's going on in American sports. See highlighted caption:



I love English understatement. Article here. And if you really want a good gut laugh, check out the BBC's "simple guide to the basics of American football."

An excerpt:

Downs are the most fundamental, and confusing, part of the NFL rulebook.

The attacking team, or offence, needs to move the ball forward in chunks of at least 10 yards, which is why the pitch has yardage markings.

They have four chances, or downs, to gain those 10 yards.

When the ball has advanced that far another first down is earned, with four more chances to go a further 10 yards.

If the offensive team fails to move 10 yards within four downs, possession is surrendered, although the ball is usually kicked, or punted, to the defending team on fourth down.

While most scoring comes from near the defending team's end zone, a touchdown can be scored from anywhere on the field, and on any down.

This guy looks really surprised to be a Khmer Rouge leader.

Almost like they snuck up on him to take his mug shot.

See 'First Khmer Rouge leader charged' at the BBC.

The AP reports that everyone passed away yesterday.

Michelangelo Antonioni
Ingmar Bergman
Tom Snyder
Bill Walsh

Something I always suspected: the Grim Reaper is a cat. Just another reason why I don't care for felines.

Sheer unintentional hilarity

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