Justice O'Connor no more...

The most important implications of Sandra Day O’Connor’s impending retirement:

• Stephen Breyer no longer stuck with the nickname “New Guy.”
• New appointment will give bored bipartisan senators something to distinguish themselves from one another.
• Probable fulfillment of C-SPAN’s requirement for coverage of formal congressional hearings on pubic hair, fellatio, or previous porn experience (coming soon) at least once every six years.
• Antonin Scalia already drafting opinion for as-of-yet nonexistent case repealing Roe v. Wade (will just insert “parties” and “facts” later).
• Justices likely to reconsider necessity of keeping a women’s restroom.
• Justice Souter brushing up on his Spanish…you know, just in case.