Telling:

Bush used to at least claim that we were making progress in Iraq. Now we're making progress figuring out what the hell we're going to do to make progress in Iraq.

And Merry Christmas, by the way.

Bush: "We're not winning, we're not losing" in Iraq. Apparently this war is a lot like tee ball: EVERYBODY'S a winner.

This is the first time in a long time that neither the University of Montana Grizzlies or the Carroll College Fighting Saints have made it to the national championship in their respective divisions. The Grizz lost to UMass at Washington Grizzly Stadium two weekends ago in a 19-17 heartbreaker. Carroll lost out a week beforehand at Nelson Stadium in Helena to St. Xavier, halting their streak of four consecutive national championships (the only scholarship level football program ever to do so). I take solace in two facts:

First, UMass lost to Appalachian State in the Division I Championship Division of Champions on Friday. Minuteman fans back in Amherst reacted with a riot. Classy.

Second, St. Francis, the team that lost to Carroll in the previous two NAIA national championships, fell again in the title game, this time to the University of Sioux Falls Cougars. That officially makes them the Buffalo Bills of NAIA. Massive gag...And they still have yet to beat Carroll.

And, on an unrelated note, Carmelo Anthony hits like a girl. Bad form. That shot was more of an openhanded slap than a punch. And then he runs away? I hope Stern hits him with an extra game for that alone.

Convert or Die: Finally, a good "Christian" video game.

I'm stupefied.

Wal-Mart is selling a video game based on the popular Left Behind series, the aim of which is to convert other characters...Or kill them if you can't. From the San Francisco Chronicle:

Left Behind Games' president, Jeffrey Frichner, says the game actually is pacifist because players lose "spirit points" every time they gun down nonbelievers rather than convert them. They can earn spirit points again by having their character pray.

"You are fighting a defensive battle in the game," Frichner, whose previous company produced Bible software, said of combatting the Antichrist. "You are a sort of a freedom fighter."

Who the hell comes up with an idea like this???

Good news for Jack Kevorkian. They're going to let him out of jail on the condition that he doesn't kill anyone. Wonder if they'll give that deal to anyone else sitting in prison in Michigan for offing a few people...

Here's how to make a bad commercial: Have some person standing in a kitchen/office/locker room explaining to the person behind the camera why they're getting a divorce/handing out a pink slip/putting in a sub off the bench, only for the viewer to then find that the person they're talking to is actually a broom or mop.

And if you want to make the commercial worse, have said person dance around the kitchen/office/locker room with a Swiffer Wet Jet to the tune of bad Blondie lyrics.

Best picture I've ever seen on the front page of SI.com

Ohio State's James Laurinaitis:

Don't forget:

(Aren't they called TPS reports?)

"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"

What a disturbing song for young kids. First of all, the image of one's mom making out with some old hairy guy who bursts through the chimney in the middle of the night, despite the obvious presence of children in the house and, likely, a husband upstairs. But even more disturbing is the idea that Santa is really only coming on the night of Christmas Eve and giving you presents in order to gain favor with younger married women. And Mrs. Claus? Thinking for all these years that her saintly husband is the most charitable man in the world, when in reality his charity is only pretext for some intercontinental makeout? It's depressing.

When you hear this on the radio for the first time as a kid, how can you not wonder what the hell is up with Santa? But if you happen to ask a parent, you're in for even more of a shock--because that's when your parents are most likely to figure that it's time to gently clue you into the true nature of Santa Claus. And if Santa's moral flexibility is depressing, it's nothing like finding out that the man doesn't exist in the first place...And that your parents have been misleading you for your entire life.

So much damage caused by one little song.

Fire Nancy Grace.

I hate this woman even more than Geraldo now. She represents everything that is wrong and evil...An opportunist in the worst way. Not long ago, she interviewed a young woman named Melinda Duckett, whose two-year-old son had just been abducted. She harassed this woman, accusing her of not cooperating with the investigation (not the police's investigation, but Nancy's ad hoc TV interrogation...Holy hell is she an ass). She backhands this woman with the not-so-subtle implication that she killed her own son.

The next day, Melinda Duckett turned a shotgun on herself and ended her life. Does that stop Nancy? Hell no. Does the lawsuit filed by her bereaved parents? Not even. This harpy continues to vilify Melinda Duckett for a good four weeks, post mortem. A clip from Scarborough Country gives a good synopsis of this case:



So the latest: the police are investigating a guy who worked across the street from her. Grace attacks this woman in about the most vulnerable state possible on national television without so much as a basic comprehension of the facts underlying the case. Only now is she starting to hush up about it because (1) she's being sued and (2) it's looking more and more like someone else is responsible. This hypocrite even went so far as to attack someone else the other night for questioning the intelligence of a mother who hopped into a stranger's car with her child, resulting in an abduction. Make me vom.

I expect this sort of thing from Hard Copy or A Current Affair, but not from CNN. Fire this woman now.

First Vikings-Packers game

A few photos from our first time attending a Vikes-Packrats game. Not too thrilled that the Vikings lost, either, since I've been talking crap about the talentless Packers and their geriatric quarterback.

Number one in her heart, but still number 3 in the NFC North. We'll get 'em at Lambeau.

(She still hasn't found that cheesehead since it "disappeared" after the game, by the way...)

I find it ironic that it's big news when an important official admits to something that is common knowledge to everyone else in the world. Link.