Another thought on 24.

Although it's been about a month and a half for the viewer since the start of Day 6, it's been only 11 hours for Bauer and CTU. In that time, Jack Bauer has:

• arrived from a trans-Pacific flight from China in full restraints after a year and a half of torture in a Chinese prison (he probably sat an uncomfy seat for the entire flight as well);
• spoken his first words in 18 months;
• been punched repeatedly in the face;
• been pierced in the shoulder with a knife;
• been stabbed in the back;
• torn out a man's throat with his bare teeth;
• fatally shot one of his best friends in the throat to save a terrorist's life;
• witnessed the detonation of a nuclear device in suburban LA (recall that his daughter is still out there somewhere with that creepy patient-dating shrink);
• tortured his brother;
• discovered that his brother was responsible for David Palmer's death;
• been led to believe that he killed his own brother...by his father;
• narrowly escaped three explosions--one of them nuclear;
• discovered that his father killed his brother, attempted to kill him, and kidnapped his nephew;
• and in the midst of it all, has helped throngs of henchmen shuffle off their mortal coils.

Despite all of that, he's still functioning at the top of his game. I'd still be napping from jet lag.

New development in the Jesus Christ love child story...

...that, if proven true, would support the claims of critics of James Cameron's upcoming documentary. As of this morning, Howard K. Stern is claiming to be the father of the boy being referred to as "Judah, son of Jesus."

Could be big. I'll keep you posted.

Strom Thurmond, Al Sharpton, James Cameron and Jesus Christ

Strom Thurmond's ancestors owned Al Sharpton's ancestors as slaves. I swear I saw this in an episode of Family Guy.

And director James Cameron of Titanic fame has finally found Jesus. Only not like that. And probably not at all.

Cameron believes he's found a family tomb that contains the ossuaries of Mary, Jesus, Matthew, Mary Magdalene, and their supposed lovechild Judah. If his "discovery" is authentic, then it would contradict not only the long held Christian belief that Jesus died single and childless, but also that He was resurrected and that he ascended into Heaven. Cameron seems pretty certain of his findings and they are pretty convincing, if you put aside subtle details like the fact that the names on the ossuaries are some of the most common for Jews during that period of time, or that Jesus' family resided in the area of Galillee, not south of Jerusalem, or even that the name on Jesus' ostuary may actually read "Hunan," not "Jesus." But convincing nonetheless.

Oh, and his "discovery" was originally made in 1980 by archeologists who concluded that it was not related to Christ. He's not even the first one to do a documentary on the subject. The BBC made one 19 years ago.

My skepticism here should be obvious. The supporters of the Dan Brown theory of Christianity (that there isn't such a thing) like to use media glitz to mask the lack of evidence supporting their theories. Cameron's documentary has yet to be released. It airs on March 4 and an accompanying book by the archaeologist on the project will be published later. To be taken at all seriously, both need to answer some serious questions:

• Why now? As noted above, this discovery was made in 1980. The notion that it had anything to do with Jesus was dismissed. What do they have now that makes this story worthy of resuscitating three decades later?
• The Mary Magdalene issue. The ossuary that is supposedly Mary Magdalene's does not simply have her name on it. It reads, "Mariamne e mara," which apparently means ‘Mariamne, known as the master.’ The assumption he makes is that "Miriam" is Mary Magdalene and because her DNA does not show a relation to the DNA in the Jesus box, she must be married to him. I accept that her true name was probably Miriam. But what does "Miriamne, known as the master" mean? Wouldn't the box indicate a relation to someone else, like the rest? "Miriam, wife of Jesus"? Something like that?
• One of the boxes contained the bones of a "Matia" or "Matthew." Why would Matthew be in the same tomb? He had no familial relationship to Jesus. If this is just another person named Matthew, apparently unknown to history prior to this discovery, then doesn't that detract from its legitimacy?
• Why would the tomb be south of Jerusalem? Granted, it is not enough to assume that the historical location of Christ's tomb is by any means accurate, but it fits with all of the historical documention on the location of the tomb. This doesn't. So is everyone who commented on the location contemporaneously wrong?
• Address the commonality of the names contained there. My understanding is that Yeshua, Matia, Yosef, Maria, and Miriam were all common names for the time period.
• Address the relation between the person in the Jesus box and that of Judah. There have been leaks so far stating that the Miriamne person and the Jesus person are not related. Cameron deduces that they must have been married. First, how can he assume that she is the wife of anyone? Second, why would she be the wife of Jesus with three other males in the tomb? Third, if they've performed sufficient DNA analysis to determine that the Jesus and the Miriamne are not related, then why hasn't there been any talk of the relation between these two persons and the Judah person? The ostuary calls him the son of Jesus. If that were the case and Miramne was the mother of this child, then surely the DNA would bear that out. Yet the reports reveal nothing as far as this issue is concerned.
• Does DNA show any relation between the Mary and the Jesus?

Again, all that is out so far are leaks and details made public by Cameron. But if the documentary and book do not address at least some of these questions, then they should not be taken seriously.

UPDATE:

From the archaeologist who found Cameron's sepulchre in an article from the Jerusalem Post:

But Bar-Ilan University Prof. Amos Kloner, the Jerusalem District archeologist who officially oversaw the work at the tomb in 1980 and has published detailed findings on its contents, on Saturday night dismissed the claims. "It makes a great story for a TV film," he told The Jerusalem Post. "But it's impossible. It's nonsense."

Kloner, who said he was interviewed for the new film but has not seen it, said the names found on the ossuaries were common, and the fact that such apparently resonant names had been found together was of no significance. He added that "Jesus son of Joseph" inscriptions had been found on several other ossuaries over the years.

"There is no likelihood that Jesus and his relatives had a family tomb," Kloner said. "They were a Galilee family with no ties in Jerusalem. The Talpiot tomb belonged to a middle-class family from the 1st century CE."

It occurred to me on Monday while watching 24 how great it would be if Jack Bauer had a ringtone on his cell. It would probably take the tension down a notch if a grainy rendition of "Hips Don't Lie" started playing everytime Chloe dialed him up from CTU with the latest lead on Fayed's nukes.

...Which begs the question of what song Jack would have on there if he were to throw down two bucks on a ringtone:

• "Not Ready to Make Nice" by the Dixie Chicks
• "A Little Less Conversation (a Little More Action)" by Elvis Presley
• "Rock the Casbah" by the Clash
• "Accidents Will Happen" by Elvis Costello
• "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins
• Definitely "Papa Don't Preach."
• Anything off of "Good News for People Who Love Bad News" by Modest Mouse
• "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath
• "Silent Lucidity"... Not for any real reason. I'm just guessing he's a Queensryche fan.

Minnesota will require that 25 percent of the its power come from renewable sources by the year 2025, a more stringent requirement than any other state in the U.S. Makes me proud to live here.

Britney Redux Pt. II

This is still bad:






This is still worse:

But this is just plain horrible:

The 25-year-old singer shocked the public by shaving off her brown hair. She claimed it was because of a problem with 'lice'. A source said: "She thought lice were eating her hair extensions, so decided to get rid of them as soon as possible."

I've never been a fan of Britney Spears, but it's difficult to watch a person who used to be America's sweetheart go into a tailspin like this one.

As bad as this is:

This is even worse.

What I can't help wondering is where her handlers were during all of this--both the shaving of the head and the donning of the wig. If your superstar client happens to make the ill-advised decision to shave her head in front of the cameras, at least you can put some spin on it. Say she's doing it for Locks of Love or something because the only explanation America is left with is "She crazy." Earn your salary, publicist.

Wishing you and yours a very special Feast of Sts. Cyril and Methodius.

"Apes" and "Pigs": Why you shouldn't be surprised.

So while we're still reeling from the nutso astronaut-diaper-love triangle here, the big story over in the UK is the recent discovery that a Muslim private school funded by the Saudi government has five-year-olds reading textbooks that describe adherents to Christianity and Judaism as "worthless." Another fun fact, Christians are actually "pigs" and Jews are "apes," not to mention "repugnant." The school initially defended the books, saying that they do not teach hatred towards other religions. When asked if they would remove the books, the principal of the school said, "No... I cannot withdraw them. There are good chapters in the books." The lines about pigs and apes have apparently been taken out of context. She didn't elaborate as to what context makes such terms acceptable.

Today the school announced that it would remove the offending chapters from the books while the British government is probing the matter.

What surprises me is that the majority of the media has not come to investigate what else is being taught in these Saudi-funded schools in Europe's own backyard. From Johann Hari of the Independent:

Which brings us to the swish, swanky classrooms of the King Fahd Academy in west London, in the year 2007. A Muslim teacher called Colin Cook has revealed that children there are taught, via Saudi textbooks, that Jews are "repugnant" and Christians are "pigs". Exercises for five-year olds include the charming exercise, "Mention some repugnant characteristics of Jews". Cook repeatedly heard children in the playground idolising Bin Laden. Challenged on Newsnight about whether she will stop using these racist books, the headteacher, Sumaya Alyusuf, said, "No... I cannot withdraw them. There are good chapters in the books."

Why are we surprised? The King Fahd Academy is not a freak. It is part of a deliberate globalised project, led by the House of Saud, that has been documented a hundred times. Azzedine Gaci, the head of the regional Muslim council, in Lyon, France, explains: "When Saudi Arabia gives you €1m with one hand, with the other they give you a list of what you must say or not say." Here's some of the things you can say, taken from standard-issue Saudi textbooks. For 10-year-olds: "The whole world should convert to Islam and leave its false religions lest their fate will be hell." For 12-year-olds: "There is a Jew behind me - come and kill him!"

And what can't you say? Anything about freedom for women, which is, the textbooks explain, "a continuation of the Crusades". A woman can only be taught to "enable her to be a successful housewife, an exemplary wife and a good mother". No need for maths or technology, shabibi, there's the kitchen. They are banned from any form of physical education, because it would be "obscene" for them to change their clothes outside the home. Besides, "they might become attracted to each other if they saw each other in leotards", in which case they would have to be killed.

As Hari notes, this should not be a surprise. Islamic tradition has long held that Jews are the descendents of apes and pigs. The Koran teaches that the Jews of Eilat were turned into apes for fishing on the Sabbath:

Some of the Jews warned the sinners that Allah would punish them. When the latter refused to stop, they separated themselves from the sinners with a wall. One day, the sinners were not seen leaving their gate. When those who observed the divine precept climbed the wall and opened the doors of the locked houses they found that all men, women, and children had turned into apes.(9) According to some commentators, the young people among the sinners became apes, while the elderly became pigs.(10)

The same MEMRI report follows Koranic commentaries linking Christians to pigs and apes as well.

So it's not as if this is new. At least some variation of this belief has been taught for ages. A symptom of these beliefs is the rise of antisemitic violence across Europe. Yet Britons were shocked to find that the London bombers from summer 2005 were made up not of foreigners but homegrown terrorists.

At some point, Europeans need to wake up. An entire generation of young European Muslims are learning that the Christians and Jews around them are worthless animals who God wishes to be destroyed. In another 50 years, many European countries will have Muslim majorities. By no means do all or even most European Muslims hold these beliefs, but last year's riots in France and the London bombings are stark evidence that youths are being radicalized. This is precisely how that happens. Unless more attention is paid to what these children are being taught and by whom, this situation will get much worse in the future.

My thoughts on the Super Bowl...and other things:

Manning is the new Favre.

Favre is the new Castro.

Castro is the new Deng.

Deng is dead.