If Osama can do it...

I ran into this article today when I went to Al Jazeera to see if they were celebrating the London attacks as instructed by the "Secret Organization group al Qaeda Organization in Europe". I’m not a big scholar of Islam or anything, but I’d always been under the impression that you had to hold some clerical qualification in order to issue religious fatwas, which apparently is not the case (though this group of Muslim scholars believes it should be). Having now realized this, I will be issuing fatwas on a regular basis beginning right now.

Fatwa No. 1: No professional baseball team whose home stadium is not in the City of Los Angeles may include the term “Los Angeles” in its name.

Fatwa No. 2: Professor Mitch Gordon must begin wearing a bowtie.

Fatwa No. 3: March 16 shall be Senator Mike Mansfield Day and in his honor, no one may celebrate it.

Fatwa No. 4: Kim Jong Il’s new nickname shall be “Boots.”

Fatwa No. 5: The word is pronounced “noo-CLEAR”. Two syllables. No sticking any “yah” in there.

More to come…