Ain't got that on iTunes...

A day in the life of...

NOFX's new Wolves in Wolves' Clothing contains a track about Minneapolis' own Triple Rock Social Club entitled "Seeing Double at the Triple Rock." Get it from iTunes here.

As far as everything else is concerned, I'm standing at the cusp of finals, staring into the abyss. It actually won't be all that bad, I hope. Trial Advocacy is done and it went pretty damn well. Pavlak, Lea and I managed to work a couple of Anchorman quotes into the mix and, in the process, convinced five jurors that Ross Easterfield did defame Jesse MacIntyre to Lee Marlow and Reeve Winsor.

ME: And how did you come to find the brooch?

LEA: I was dusting the...many leatherbound books...in the Easterfield library when I saw it on the shelf at about eye level.

(Muffled snickers)

Later during the cross of Ross Easterfield...

ME: Mr. Easterfield, you're kind of a big deal. People know you. Surely you weren't surprised that Ms. MacIntyre became nervous once you began interrogating her?

Pavlak did great. It was truly a pleasure working with him. He'll do great next year as an attorney or fighting jihadists...Whichever he ends up doing. Hope he's in a courtroom rather than a humvee, but I guess that's up to the Marine Corps. The fact that he's willing to do it tells you a lot about the guy. And as for Lea, she did a stellar job as one of our witnesses, as did Kate Hibbard. She gets an Oscar for her performance up there. They both took their roles naturally. ;o)

Friday night was the kickoff event for my cousin Ryan and his new venture, The Dink (website's not quite functioning yet--I'll put up a post when it is). It's a brand new Minneapolis-area newspaper targeted at 18-25 year-olds with a little bit of Onion flavor to it. Friday night they held an event at Blarney's in Dinkytown. We had one hell of a time out there. I got to catch up with Ryan's little brother Kyle who I haven't seen in a few years. The festivities lasted well into the morning. I was at the after-party until 4 a.m. I'm looking forward to seeing what these kids can do with it. So anyway, if you see a copy around town (there are 20,000 of them so far), check 'er out. More on The Dink in the future.

Last night was the famous Tommy Law Booze Cruise. What originally was a law school talent show last year turned into a karaoke-fest when they decided to rent a Mississippi riverboat instead of having it at the law school. It was a kick ass time last year. This year, things started out rather poorly when we discovered that the DJ provided by the boat company didn't do karaoke. The guy didn't even have a monitor. Lisa grabbed a mike and decided she was going to sing "Proud Mary" anyway. I followed with "Should I Stay or Should I Go" by The Clash. That got the ball rolling. Turned out to be a rockin' time. Afterwards, we all headed to Lyon's Pub in downtown for a (few) nightcaps. Wonderful evening.

Oh, and the ole lady is in Vegas this weekend with her high school friends. It's really too bad for her, though...She went all the way to Vegas and I would contend that I still had a better time than she did.

Anyway, like I was saying, three finals left. Ever. That's really something when you think about it. Tomorrow will be the last class I ever have to take. Twenty years. I'm not sure what I'll do with myself. Probably work. I understand that to be a condition of being done with the whole class thing. Other than that, my volunteer hours are completely done. I added them all up and it turns out I had them finished in my third semester of law school. Now I just have to do finals and cover a few mentor hours. Boo-frickin-yah.

That's how I roll...

Finals must be near...

Last night someone was using volume 62 of the Southeastern Reporter as a doorstop in the library. Buncha savages in this town...

Lea's thoughts...

...on a remarkably healthy habit. Link here.

I just went to Chipotle for lunch. I left expecting to bite into a spicy, savory burrito full of spine-tingling goodness when I got to the library. Instead, the flour tortilla was hard, the rice was undercooked and worst of all, the bottom broke open, allowing the tomatillo-red sauce to leak out and dragging any hope that my Chipotle experience could be salvaged with it.

This has the potential to ruin my entire day...

Iran to continue enrichment; stern E.U. threatens more talks

Granted, while the U.S. strategy to prevent Iraq from gaining weapons of mass destruction might have been a bit heavy handed, giving Europe the reins on the Iran issue was clearly a bad idea. This Munich crap doesn't work.

Can't say I didn't expect that result...

Take the quiz:

Which "24" character are you?

Jack Bauer
You are Jack Bauer!!! You always save the day, you have a sexy voice, and have the longest days too often. Almost all of your love interests die or just get sick of your need to save the world. You're not afriad of sticking it to the man and if people would listen to you things would get done a lot faster.

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Biosphere Minneapolis

Motion in limine for Trial Advocacy is done (tip o' the hat to Pavs). Thanks to that damned trial, I've been at the law school past midnight and gotten back there again in the morning before eight for the better part of the last week. I've eaten three squares a day across the skyway at the cafeteria in Schulze Hall. And if I wasn't at one of those two places, I'd have been at work in the IDS Center, a short walk by skyway. Heck, the only time I'd actually been outside is when I had to walk home and sleep for a few hours.

If I was smart, I would save myself the 35-40 minutes I spend walking between my apartment, work, and Tommy Law. I'd get a cot and just start living in one of the study rooms on the second floor of the library. Maybe get a minifridge. And a shower curtain, just in case I need some privacy. It'll be a lot like that Biosphere II thing . . . Only with Marshall Fields and a Caribou.

Cynthia McKinney is certifiably insane.

For those who haven't already heard about it, Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-GA) had a recent scuffle with the Capitol Police. Members of Congress are not required to go through security when entering the Capitol or their office buildings, but they are required to wear a lapel pin showing that they are, in fact, members of Congress. Well, Congresswoman McKinney believes that this rule does not apply to her and on multiple occasions has attempted to walk past security without stopping and without wearing her pin. Despite the rule having been in place since 1993, she has had at least five altercations with Capitol Police over this issue, excluding the current one.

Last week, she attempted this stunt yet again. The Capitol Police officer who was working there called out to her three times, but she kept on walking. He ran up to her and grabbed her by the arm. She turned around and decked him. Federal prosecutors are deciding whether or not to charge her with assault. In all likelihood, the entire issue would disappear if she would just apologize for punching the police officer. Instead, she claims that the Capitol Police should be able to recognize her and are, in fact, required to do so (see her statement here). The thing is, there are 535 members of Congress. It's just a touch more difficult for the Capitol Police to recognize each and every one than it is for her to just wear her damn pin. Instead, she insists this is an issue of racism. She calls it "working while black." Nevermind the sheer number of members . . . or that she had just recently changed her hair from corn rows to some big poofy getup . . . or that the Capitol Police had even tried to accomodate her belief that the rules do not apply to her by posting a picture of her at security checkpoints . . . or that the officer in question had only been working for roughly three weeks. Asking this incredibly important representative to either stop at security or wear her pin is simply asking too much.

Honest to God, I was genuinely surprised that a member of the United States Congress would act with such arrogance and immaturity. I wondered if there might be some substance to her side of the story simply because it looked so rediculous that it couldn't possibly be entirely true. Then I saw her campaign site (credit Chaz).

One of the primary issues listed on her campaign web site is "HIP-HOP." Terrorism didn't make the cut, but this incredibly pressing issue did. Rep. McKinney "believes that the Hip-Hop community has the potential to evolve into one of the strongest movements on behalf of social justice and community development." Uh huh. Some stunning social commentary lies behind lyrics like "I'm in love with a stripper," "B**ch, I'm gonna kill you," "To the sweat drop down my balls/To all these b**ches crawl, etc." R. Kelly pissing on that gal's head? That's art. Yeah, real exemplars of social justice and community development. Last year she introduced into Congress the Tupac Amaru Shakur Records Collection Act, which sought to create a collection of records related to Tupac's death at the National Archives similar to the collection created after the Kennedy assassination. McKinney alleges that Shakur was under surveillance by the FBI, apparently implying that the federal government knows something about Shakur's death. Whatever.

Actually, it's probably a good thing she didn't list terrorism as an issue since she believes the Bush Administration knew of the 9/11 attacks ahead of time and intentionally allowed them to happen. Note that she admits to having absolutely no evidence to back this accusation, but nonetheless called for an investigation into whether or not this was the case (see her statements re: 9/11 here). McKinney alleges that some rich folks allied with Bush might have profited as a result. That's a smoking gun if I've ever seen one. You know, there "might" be evidence that she gains minority votes in her district by exploiting racial sensitivities rather than seeking to heal them. But I digress . . .

McKinney initially entered politics when her father, a Georgia politician himself, nominated her as a write-in candidate for a state House seat that she eventually won. She eventually landed in the U.S. House and charged racism after the Supreme Court found that her district was unconstitutionally gerrymandered. When Republicans crossed over to help defeat her in the 2002 Democratic primary race, she charged racism. Her father asserted on more than one occasion that "Jews [had] bought everyone" in the election. McKinney refused to comment. When Al Gore ran for President in 2000, she stated that "Al Gore's Negro tolerance level has never been too high. I've never known him to have more than one black person around him at any given time." Note: Al Gore's campaign manager was black.

Notice any trends here? When it comes down to it, there is a very simple explanation for the incident between her and the officer: Cynthia McKinney is an irrational person who attributes any inconvenience in her life (such as an officer asking her to stop at security or having to wear a pin) to some other person's racial bias or some elaborate conspiracy. Both elements are present currently whereas she alleges (1) that the Capitol Police are racist and (2) that the subsequent investigation is somehow designed by her political opponents to harm her. I sincerely hope that her constituents are finally embarrassed enough by Ms. McKinney's antics to send a representative to DC who actually has some integrity. We shall see . . .

Other peoples' kids

To whom it may concern,

The fishbowl study rooms in the library are not a free day care center for your miscreant youth to play Australian rules football in. If you do make the unfortunate decision to leave your hyperactive mini-delinquents unsupervised in a study room, at least have the courtesy to inform them that throwing whiteboard erasers at the windows and banging on the walls is considered taboo in a law school environment. Barring that option, bind them in a corner, drug them, or maybe just leave them at home with a damned babysitter like everyone else does. Your fellow 3Ls would appreciate it.

Kindly,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Clark Bar