Best quarter in America

Despite some snafus, Schweitzer and the quarter commission got the final selection right. The Charlie Russell skull is the quintessential Montana symbol. Perfect. That's one way to secure the Great Falls vote (or at least the western half of it). The only thing that bothers me a bit is that they call it a "bison skull" constantly. It isn't though; it's a cattle skull.

The skull comes from the famous western artist Charles M. Russell, who signed his paintings with a skull alongside his initials. He first used the skull on a watercolor called "Waiting for a Chinook (The Last of the Five Thousand)." A young Russell had been working as a cattle hand for a rancher during the winter of 1886-87. Long story short, there was little in the way of food for the cattle. To make matters worse, a chinook had melted the top layer of a foot and a half of snow, resulting in a thick sheet of ice that the cattle's hooves couldn't penetrate. Russell told the story later on in life:

The winter of '86 and'87 all men will remember. It was the hardest winter the open range ever saw. An awful lot of cattle died. The cattle would go in the brush and hump up and die there. They wasn't rustlers. A horse will paw and get grass, but a cow won't. Then the wolves fattened on the cattle.... Now I was living at the OH Ranch that winter. There were several men there, and among them was Jesse Phelps, the owner of the OH. One night, Jesse Phelps had got a letter from Louie Kaufman, one of the biggest cattlemen in the country, who lived in Helena, and Louie wanted to know how the cattle was doing, and Jesse says to me, "I must write a letter to Louie and tell him how tough it is." I was sitting at the table with him and I said, "I'll make a sketch to go with it." So I made one, a small water color about the size of a postal card, and I said to Jesse, "Put that in your letter." He looked at it and said, "Hell, he don't need a letter, this will be enough."

At the bottom, Russell placed a small skull that would become his trademark. Bison skull? It is not and never has been a bison skull. Hell, doesn't matter though. We all know what's on the quarter even if the governor who gave the go-ahead to put it on there doesn't.

Al Qaeda's hallmark might well be its use of American technology against us, but Bin Laden and Al Zawahiri's insistence upon releasing audiotapes through Al Jazeera and Al Arabiya tells me that one thing is certain:

Al Qaeda has not yet grasped podcasting technology. In fact, the cave dwelling idiots don't even have a blog.

Amateurs . . .

After 41 years, they should have just stayed in LA...

Monday evening I had the privilege of watching the first game between the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Minnesota Twins to take place in Minnesota since the 1965 World Series. As a life-long Dodger fan, I was psyched. I hadn't seen them play since I was eight years old, when Kirk Gibson and Orel Hershiser were playing. I secured a ticket along the first base line on the lower deck and headed out for the game. Along the way, I saw a convertible Mini Couper driving along 15th St. and regurgitated a bit of the dinner that I'd eaten before leaving. It was a remarkably accurate foreshadowing of the night to come.

LA's been doing fairly well this year, standing atop a very competitive NL West, but they straight up got their asses kicked by the Twins. It was hard to watch. They lost 8-2 in a game that could have been a lot worse, had Torii Hunter's near-grand slam veered just a couple feet to the right. Billingsley pitched like a guy who just got pulled up from AAA ball (I still have confidence he'll turn out to be a fine pitcher though), Ethier added a couple rookie mistakes, and none of LA's long balls were able to make the distance. They played this afternoon after losing again last night. I considered going, but was unable to (&%$#ing Bar exam!!!). Doesn't matter. They got swept anyway.

The Twins are hot right now. They've won 17 of their last 19. But here's the ironic part. The Dodgers might have sucked it up this week against the Twins, but their mistakes will put them a game-and-a-half behind San Diego, at worst. The Twins have been on a better roll than anyone else in baseball. They've only gained a half game on the Detroit Tigers during their stretch and remain 11 games back. Double digit gap. The Twins might be the hottest team in baseball, but as long as the Tigers and Chisox stay "kinda" hot, they'll still be pulling up the #3 spot in the AL Central and watching the post-season on ESPN. LA only needs to stay ahead of four other inconsistent teams in the NL West. It sucked to watch, but I'd trade an ass kicking like the one we got for the position we're in. Despite the streak, LA is still in a better position to make the post-season.

Travesty

I had to get Minnesota plates yesterday. That's an unfortunate consequence of changing one's domicile. I took my trusty county 2 plates and buried them in a field side by side. When I came back the next day, a red fern had grown over both their graves. Then everyone wept.

Other nasty side effect: Minnesota plates are kinda lame. I could get one of those specialty plates, but I don't much care for loons, Lewis and Clark never came to Minnesota, and the state lacks much in the way of Carroll College grads.

Know what would be wicked? Throwback plates. If I can get a 1950s Brooklyn Dodgers jersey at Lids, then I should be able to get 1989 Montana bicentennial plates for my car. As it turns out, Montana has vintage plates, but you can only put them on old cars not used for general transportation. Oppression.

Alright. I've gotta go learn how to talk like the people in Fargo. More later.

Gonna point out a new addition on the right side panel. This idea struck me earlier today when I saw one of those "last five songs I've listened to" programs that hooks into your blog on another site. I go to Wikipedia as a starting point whenever a random thought pops into my head. Anyway, I'm going to do the same thing on here from now on...And if anyone knows a way I can avoid doing it manually, I'm all ears.

Just so everyone knows...

I could go the rest of my life without ever hearing that "Promiscuous Girl" song again and be okay. So if anyone can do something about that, you know...Go ahead. I won't mind.

A better place to study...

The US got straight up hosed in that game. What a bunch of horseshit. Okay, some Italian frustrated over the fact that his team is tied with the Americans throws an elbow into McBride's face and adding a bit more red to the red, white and blue--I can see a red card over that. It was flagrant. The makeup call over a tackle where Mastroeni actually caught the ball? Completely unworthy of a red card. Same goes for the second yellow against Eddie Pope.

Other than that, it was a great game. And I did learn a few things about soccer:

Italian soccer players are fragile, delicate creatures. The slightest physical contact causes them to writhe on the ground, Dennis Rodman-style. It was almost humorous. Did anyone else notice that the Italians had multiple guys laying on the ground with ass injuries? And then the doc runs out on the field, pulls open the back of his shorts, then sprays some WD-40 or something in there. Slap him on the ass and he's ready to play again. Bizarre.

The Italians love Steve Nash. I realized this part way through the game. Three-quarters of the Italian team is sporting the Nash look. I'm not making this up. Check it out:

Look familiar? It should:

Once a player is taken out of the game, he can't come back in. I was completely unaware of that. They must play by different rules than my little sister's league.

A red card not only means that a player is ejected and unable to play the following game, but it also means that the team is one man short for the rest of the game. It's like a permanent power play for the non-offending team.

And finally, soccer is actually a pretty fun sport to watch. I was engrossed in the game and went ape on that second goal that the evil, corrupt ref took away in the second half. The big reason soccer hasn't caught on in the US is because Americans are very offense-oriented. We like seeing constant scoring. Soccer really lets you build it all up. It's no wonder Europeans go nuts over a single goal. I might have to start following the MLS or Premier League or something. One idea we could take from the Premier: at the end of the year, the team with the worst record drops into a lower league, while the top team from the next league down moves up to replace it. Wouldn't that be great? Maybe not for the Royals, but I'd sure dig it.

Ghana. Screw 'em. I'm into this for at least the next month...

All in favor of a nuclear holocaust?

The Pew Research Center just released their annual report on global opinion. So let me get this straight:

45% of Jordanians and 44% of Egyptians favor Iran developing nuclear weapons (see p. 2). At the same time, 65% of Jordanians and 61% of Egyptians believe that Iran would use nuclear weapons to attack Israel (p. 19).

Man, that's f'd up.

Bush too bright for shades

I actually felt kind of bad for Bush after reading this story. When reporter Peter Wallsten posed a question at a recent press conference, President Bush asked him if he was going to ask it with his "shades" on. As it turned out, Wallsten did ask his question with his shades on because he suffers from a degenerative eye disease.

(Wince)

Bush called the guy later on in the day after finding out about his condition to apologize and Wallsten was a great sport about it. My favorite quote from the article:

"Wallsten said he thought that was a pretty good line. And his only complaint is that the president didn't answer his question at the news conference."

Shocker, eh?

Apparently Google Finance has a section on their individual stock web pages that contains recent blog posts about various corporations. A fleeting reference to Target Corp has landed a poorly scribed rant about a sour bet on the top of said list. Probably not the high caliber investment advice they're looking for...

Update: Effect? Target stock up one-tenth of a point.

Another reason to hate the White Stripes

I lost a really stupid bet last night. Charlie and I were driving to BarBri when Drive 105 started playing that horrible "Seven Nation Army" song by the White Stripes. I dig a few Stripes songs, but that one makes me want to steer the car into oncoming traffic. Never in my life have I played the drums, nor do I have any idea how to play a guitar, but I guarantee I could perform either in that song. Charlie relates that he likes that "Doorbell" tune, but not "Seven Nation Army," "or that 'we are gonna be friends' one." He starts humming the tune, and I recognize it as the song from the very beginning of Napoleon Dynamite.

"No dude, that's not the White Stripes."

"Who is it then?"

"I have no idea, but I do know that it's not the White Stripes."

"Yeah it is. It's on one of their albums. They only have like four hits. That's one of them."

This all escalated into a heated debate over whether or not the White Stripes actually sing this song.

"Okay Charlie, so you're telling me that it's the only accoustic song they do, the only one without drums, and the only one that sounds nothing like Jack White."

"It does too sound like Jack White!"

I don't remember who proposed it, but we ended up making a bet over this. We're both essentially broke, so the loser would have to clean the entire apartment while the winner sat there watching TV. Charlie calls up Pavlak in the midst of the dispute. That's when I started to realize that maybe I was wrong about this. Pavlak not only agreed with Charlie, but wanted to bet me $40 over the same question. Charlie has him looking around for the song on the web, despite the fact that it's apparently not on the soundtrack and that none of us actually know what the song is called.

We walked into BarBri still arguing over this stupid song that neither of us like. We polled half the evening BarBri class. Finally one guy tells us that it's on the White Blood Cells album. I know I'm cooked at this point, but something inside of me is still certain that the White Stripes could not have singed this song. I borrowed Nilan's computer before class started, hopped onto Amazon, looked up the album and, to my dismay, saw a song entitled "We're Going to Be Friends" listed as a track. Still, no way was I giving up on this. Maybe it's a cover or something, right? So I clicked on the song preview (without knowing that Nilan apparently keeps her computer volume all the way up to eleven). Within a few seconds, the bet is lost with all certainty--and at full volume, too. The song is blasting for all to hear. All three chords of it. By the White Stripes.

What gets me is that I was certain that this song was by some no name indie group...some Built to Spill carbon copy or something. I even remember looking it up on iTunes at one point. Seriously, I would have bet my left nut on that song being by anyone other than that Target commercial gone awry known as the White Stripes (look at this album cover and tell me that it doesn't look like a Target Corp Marketing reject).

Charlie was lapping it up for the following four hours, too--occasionally humming the song through the lecture, calling up Pavlak on the break, etc. When we got back to the apartment, he immediately went straight to his room and started playing the song on his guitar. I'd lucked out eventually though because Charlie had more desire to have some mac and cheese that night than to see the apartment spick 'n span. So rather than having to clean the entire joint with Charlie sitting on the couch playing "We're Going to Be Friends" on repeat, I bought him a gallon of milk, some mac, and promised a few beers next time we go out.

Lesson learned: Don't make bets with Charlie over music. The White Stripes'll getcha.

Frickin' SWEET!

HAWKING WARNS: HUMANS MUST GO INTO SPACE TO SURVIVE

Oooh.....That was ugly.

The Czech Republic smacked Team USA so hard their mothers felt it. 3-0 sounds like a relatively minor loss in, say, baseball terms, but is apparently more like a 55-10 thumping in the soccer world. I don't know what I expected--we got thrashed in Olympic hockey (men's and women's), failed to make any magic at the World Baseball Classic (which included an embarrassing loss to Canada), and not only took home our first bronze ever in Olympic basketball, but managed to get our asses kicked by our own damned colony in the process. The idea that we might dominate in a globally loved sport that we're not even supposed to be good at never should have even crossed my mind. I occasionally joke around that we should start some sort of World Cup of American Football, but the way things are going, I'm afraid we'd end up losing the semifinal to Guam or some dinky country in the former Yugoslavia.

Oh, and Nike is still whoring that "Beware US Soccer Strikes" bit, with the snake wrapped around the soccer ball. I don't think this World Cup is going to do much for making soccer popular in the US. Sorry folks.

Plain damned embarrassing. We better get our s*&% together for Italy on Saturday. If we can beat the Italians and the Italians lose to the Czechs, then assuming we beat Ghana, then we can still slip into the knockout rounds.
Oh well. At least the Dodgers are in first place. Nomar Garciaparra is a man.

Before reading any headlines, I saw this picture posted atop Drudge Report this morning with the single word "TERMINATED" below it and immediately thought to myself, "Geez, that's a rather impolite way of reporting Pavarotti's death."

What's in a name...

I complain about the names of athletic teams....A lot. Much more than any normal person would care to. From the genuine lack of creativity in naming farm teams in Montana or franchise theft in Minnesota, most of these complaints carry one common characteristic: local charm.

Unless you're satisfied with something lame like the "Lions" or the "Bears," any city, state, university, high school or law firm softball squad should choose a name that is unique to it specifically. The University of Hawaii can be the Rainbow Warriors because they're the only state comfortable enough in its collective sexuality to bandy about a football team with such a sissy handle. Ohio State can keep the Buckeyes because no one outside of Ohio could tell you what a buckeye is.

I'm proud to say that across the spectrum of sports, Minnesota's been loyal to itself consistently in choosing mascots. The Minnesota Twins represent the Twin Cities. The original Minnesota Lakers evidence the fact that Minnesota has lakes like the Sahara has sand. The Vikings are a tribute to the state's predominantly Scandinavian heritage. The North Stars? Self evident. But the state's motto also happens to be "L'Étoile du Nord" ("Star of the North"). Basically, Minnesota's athletic teams are all tributes to the state itself. That was all true until six years ago when NHL Hockey finally returned to Minnesota in the form of the Minnesota......"Wild."

Now Minnesota has many great characteristics, but being "wild" is not one of them. I understand that this is a tip of the hat to the more rural scenery in the northern half of the state, but come on....Who are we fooling? We can't get away with that. The entire country smirks whenever they say the name. If we're going to go balls out with one of those rare non-plural names, we should at least make it accurate. I propose they change the name to the Minnesota Nice. Maybe they could use that Walmart smiley face as a logo. It's more fitting. By no means is the Nice an intimidating mascot, but the inaccurate ones are just plain annoying. You wouldn't name a team in Seattle the Suns, would you? Or one in southern California the Lakers? Besides, this just might be the key to giving a lackluster team an upbeat, positive start to their next season.

Is anyone else having problems posting graphics?

Blog*Spot is giving me one hell of a time. Seems to be happening to a few people. I'm wondering if it's everybody or just a few of us.